Make sure it's the truth, before you write it down, kid

Whats better than the best porno? Becca coming home from Europe!

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 05:36:19 GMT

Okay well, Becca's back from Europe and I have to start making money and keep running on the beach cause I look really cute and athletic type in the sports bra... And the new alkaline trio is perfect for running on the beach since I'm not into that ultra happy upbeat music....

And my great uncle died tuesday and it was really hard cause we were kinda close. I go back to work tomrrow, i haven't worked since sunday, thats um all week? shit. anyway I really got to get to it with my moving to florida fullsail thing goin... anywa peace out, its almsot time until American dad is on... then i fall asleep. and the same thing tomrrow. I can't wait to get out of this same same same bullshit,

Using people for sex, is it a bad thing? Its certainly not a crime if they're uaing you too ia it?

it certainly doesn't feel wrong

It gets easier, and then it goes away

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 07:07:36 GMT

Well, I got called in. Sucked. I made more money then I thought I did and this boy from margate started today. Get this, he wants to go to Fullsail for film. Isn't that weird? I just feel like maybe I'm going to get too used to being by myself so much that I'm not going to know how to adjust .

Welcome to the middle of my thought.

So my moms birthday was yesturday and I sent her the most amazing flowers (calla lillies) and then tonight she mentioned that she didn't get a cake. So I baked her one after she went to sleep. And I just got done. I made her a pound cake and then cut a hole in the center and put chocolate pudding (home made.... okay jell-o but i had to add the milk!) and cut up strawberries and then i put the top back on it... I left her a note on the table (since she's up like 1,000 hourse earlier than I am, and tomrrow is my day off...) that says "everyone deserves a birthday cake). i hope she likes the cake. i hope its good.

i feel like I have this attiude i don't even realize I have. How must I work around that?

Welcome to the middle of my thought

um, um, um, Tomrrow LBI, I called steve and I called katie and its going to be a good day off. right on

And its 3 and I'm not tired, and I want to get an early start to LBI tomrrow... i hope its nice out

Chance is sleeping next to me, I am not alone

How anti-climactic....

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:31:52 GMT

Its like a day off cept for I'm not sure if I'm off. I hate being on-call. God the breakfast club is awesome. Anyway its like 90 degrees out, too hot for the beach, eh what am I saying, no it isn't but I don't want to go to the beach if I have to call work at 2:15 to know if I have to go in... but If at 2:!5 and I call and I said "Clemente NOOOOOOOOOOO Don't make me come in, I want to go to the beach!!" maybe he'll reconsider... But I'm talking to katie about me going to LBI tonight, i don't have to work tomrrow for sure... And If i'm in LBI, that means I can see steve!! Steve is the boy from The Night class. Oh man, OH MAN. Sorry, I've been working really hard and his friends party hard and that would just be awesome. Who knows where i'd end up, they're hylarious too. ( that can't be the way you spell that)
Anyway, i just need to relax. I had a tough week, Eric and I broke up right?

right.

Keep things like fingers and shit crossed so that I don't have to work!!

I'm going out like a baby--a naive unsatisfiable baby

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 03:27:02 GMT

Its been about two years since I've used this thing productivly. I think my life got a lot less interesting from 2 years ago, in some ways. In some ways my life is more hectic than ever, I just can't feel it. I've got this job working in the super high class resturaunt I feel like from 3pm until whenever in the AM i am "on". I have to be funny and charming and oh yea good at my actual job, which is "Server Assistant" oh, you wanna know what it means too?? fine. It means "GLORIFIED BUS(BOY/GIRL)" I clear the plates, Take coffee drink orders, prepare them and Present them, get the water, Set and Re-set the table, crack lobster claws (from 3-17lb) and I see more fresh meat than your first party in college. I also have to care what the people are telling me about there son, grandson, nephew, neice, uncle that lives in my town etc. I create various identies each with there own bullshit story. Sometimes it takes me 5 redbulls, sometimes i drink some espressos... and sometimes it just happens naturaly. But its tireing and it sucks. Oh right, the good part... I make so much money its sick. Since we have lobsters that can cost anywhere from 120$ to 950$ each and wine that is 200$ a bottle damn right some of that money should go to me, and it does and its great.
I'm working towards moving to Florida in September for School. I want to have enough money to decorate my apartment with awesome style. Style = Money, and the "eye" which i am very slowly getting. I have begun to enter this caption contest in The New Yorker, i don't know if any of you read it... its got these amazing cartoons that are hysterical. I've been entering to get my caption under a cartoon. So far, they haven't thought I was very funny, but I'll get to them... Oh I'll get to them. What else... what else....I'm single for the first time in more years than I care to remember and its only been a couple days but it feels pretty good. ha, and the school I'm going to is 90% male 10% female... being a nerd finally pays off. I feel like I've been living a very alone type of life. I go to work and didn't really make any friends, just do my job joke around when I'm there and leave, Becca's touring Europe, and other than that I've been feeling pretty alone. But its pretty much my choice, I don't really like going out and doing what people my age are doing, so I don't. Its okay.
I've been mourning the deaths of my favorite comedian Mitch Hedberg and Elliot Smith, (even though he died in 2003) I've been listening to a lot of Ben folds and Elliot Smith and I just discovered the song Late on the new Ben folds album is about Elliot Smith, at least thats my take on it... Check it out sometime
And Mitch was by all means my favorite comedian, he died this year in March, I thought he was just the funniest person I've ever seen. If you've never heard of him, your missing something big time, try to find his comedy cental special "why would people who don't know me come to my special?"
I'm getting itchy so I'm gonna go itch.

This felt good. I usually hate life updates but I think i did this one justice.

What hit me hardest on the breakup....

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 16:45:24 GMT

I'm going to have to buy my own hoodies from now on.

I speed on nice days.

Tue, 03 May 2005 04:42:51 GMT

I'm moving to Flordia to live with boys and study film. Jealous? I'd be.

Your Brain is 26.67% Female, 73.33% Male

You have a total boy brain

Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts

And while your emotions do sway you sometimes...

You never like to get feelings too involved

What Gender Is Your Brain?

huh

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 02:56:43 GMT

Well, I mean.... Its a perfect end, to a perfect week.... Thank you ADAM for this quiz

You scored as Suicide. Your death will be suicide. What more can I say? Fact: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

</td>

Suicide

87%

Posion

53%

Accident

47%

Gunshot

40%

Disappear

40%

Eaten

33%

Drowning

33%

Stabbed

20%

Suffocated

20%

Disease

13%

Natural Causes

13%

Bomb

Cut Throat

How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com

Here are all my (computer generated) new years resolutions

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 19:47:33 GMT

NUMBER ONE
Eat at least 2 pigeons a week.

NUMBER TWO

Find out who I got that STD from.

NUMBER THREE

Invent a better pizza

And last but not least....

Stop making silly resolutions.

The EnD

No time for the old in-out, love, I've just come to read the meter.

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 21:51:14 GMT

Okay so Happy 21st to me.... I had a great night on Saturday and by the end of the night we were all feeling a bit shagged and fagged and fashed, it being a night of no small expenditure........ and so Tonight a continuation of my birthday celbration with my only k DOT lee, we're both dying so it'll be fun.... And Tomrrow.... seeing a band, a band, FINALLY because oh my god, this band must just be great.....
Not really an update--- rather an up-to-date

Thanks Eric..... My birthday was amazing thanks to you

Well, Its been a while

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 01:07:43 GMT

I'm feeling lost. I'm feeling like i don't have a real home.
I can't live with my mom, she's just too into herself, she's too hard to live with, actually, she makes it impossible to live there.
I'm living on my dads couch, he's lived here for more then a year, and he's never here, there are boxes everywhere, i couldn't even get a cat if i wanted to, theres no place for it. I'm not in school, I'm in therapy, i hate the therapy, no one is my age and I don't click with any of them. I just feel so lost.

Oh well.

this is so pointless, this entry is so pointless, and it seems i only usr this when I'm in a bad, or sad mood.

Hmmm, what? Girl next door?

Sat, 09 Oct 2004 14:45:25 GMT

Maybe cause I said I liked to wear jeans and vans?
Career Girl? Right on!
Indie Girl? Thats cool

I am a hybrid of:
Indie Girl
Girl Next Door
Career Girl
Click on the pictures below to read more:
Take the 'What Kind of Girl Are You?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

bad space

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 02:24:22 GMT

It makes sense to only use this service when i'm feeling down. Why share my happiness when my sadness is so much more interesting. I was not ready to come home. I have nothing here anyway. Sober life has it's many up's and downs, suprisingly more up's than downs, but right now, is a down. I can't even specifically say why. I just know i have nothing at "home" and i have no idea, no clue what I want to do in life. I wish I knew, i wish a lot of things. I wish i would have never left florida. It was dumb and all I got out of it was frusterated. I have an infected eye, a sprained ankle, a horrible pain in my leg and in my neck, and I've actually made myself sick to my stomach from being home. I've tired out every oppourtunity here, and I even feel lonely when I'm surrounded by people... but thats just here. I guess it's "jersey people" that kill me, they never want to go anywhere, or help themselves, and I'm here, and I'm different.
On another note, I've been sober now, for 32 days and I go back to finish my rehab the day after tomrrow.

If you truely wanted to say goodbye, you'd make it a point to.

I DO NOT WANT TO DO MY WORK

Wed, 11 Aug 2004 17:59:39 GMT

E	Earthy
R	Rich
I	Insane
C	Cool
A	Ambitious

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

MY WORK MAKES ME want to rip my rich eyes out aND KILL SOMEONE...

Woah, where did that come from?!

Flava of the summer......

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 04:26:09 GMT

i thought i'd do a random update since nothing new is happening...
I went to New York to work on my award-winning project, the YET TO BE RECORDED album, "On the Eve of St. Agnes"
It was awesome, and did erica make out with a rock star??

so I've been editing and other than all of that bullshit, I've been doing a lot of thinking and trying to better myself, I swear.
I don't know how well it's working, you'll have to be the judge of that.

"Young for the last time"
Torn apart at the seems,
and you're starting to bleed,
trying hard to fit in,
forcing out your best grin, playin the fool

wearing a 50s bow,
tied to your new libido:

(Chorus)
Hair in a beehive,
Teased out and blown dry,
dressed up in sneakers and a blouse, you sneak out
oh those braces hung inside, kissed for the first time
birds nests and beehives tightly wound.

Do you know who to be?
(how do you know who to be?)
Do you know when to laugh?
Do you know when to act happy and cool?

Cascades, and 50s bows
Pot smoke on used tuxedos

(Chorus)
Hair in a beehive,
Teased out and blown dry,
dressed up in sneakers and a blouse, you sneak out
braces hung inside, kissed for the first time
hair in a beehive tightly wound.

Done up in braids, like its 1958
we're the sons and we're the daughters,
just a baby boom away (digging our graves):

Crumbling beehives, the end of a long night
punch drunk you lie down on a couch-spread out
you'll be bloodied, bone dry, and young for the last time
birds nests and beehives drying out (coming unwound)

we go from textbooks and outlines to resume deadlines,
we're married then buried in the ground.

This is my subject, my subject is this:

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 03:02:45 GMT

I've been busy editing and going to the gym. aparently thats my new life... I start another class on monday, christie and tim are teaching it and there is a class trip to NYC... the course is called "best course ever" just in case anyone wanted to take it...
I've been so much better now that I've stopped doing drugs, i'm like... almost bearable (but i still can't spell)
and so it was, she finished another pointless entry, and thank you for your time.

My Trip to germany, or why Jet Lag Sucks, By Erica Spatz

Sat, 05 Jun 2004 09:17:32 GMT

Jet lag sucks because I went to sleep at 9pm and woke up at 3. It is now 12 after 5 in the morning, and I can't seem to get back to sleep.
I even watched the movie Big Fish, which I swore I would hate even before I pressed play. Did I hate it?
Did I?

I really would did some bed with some sleep in it right now, anyone got any?

Stolen from Dana!

Sun, 16 May 2004 02:35:00 GMT

Firsts:
First job: Casels... brings back memories ;)
First screen name: Laughing11... I was 11.... wow
First funeral: hmm...My grandfathers
First pet: A bird, poe.
First piercing/tattoo: industrial
First credit card: I honestly don't remember... (I'm so margate)
First real kiss: Pleading the 5th
First love: Mikey G.
First enemy: N/A
First favorite musician: Ani Difranco
Lasts:
Last car ride: From the party, home
Last kiss: Mike, this afternoon
Last library book checked out: ?¿
Last movie watched: Sunset Blvd.
Last beverage drank: White Zinfindel
Last food consumed: Graduation Cake, which was so f-in good
Last time showered: Yesturday before Ani, I'm gross
Last CD played: Educated Guess
Last website visited: LJ obviously
Now:
Single or Taken: Ha, as if thats an Easy question to answer... Single
Birthday: 20.11.83
Sign: Scorpio
Siblings: I have sam
Hair color: The color of Poo.
Eye color: Brown (though I've heard in some lights, theres blue specks ;)
Shoe size: 9 or 10 in dressy shoes
Height: 5'5"
Right now what are you:
Wearing: Skirt and Black Shirt
Drinking: nothin
Thinking about: Phone calls I need to make

Fri, 30 Apr 2004 16:39:58 GMT

1.Go into your LJ's archives.
2.Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3.Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4.Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

"I did. As we've grown up, there still is that feeling of 'protectedness' that I still really love. "

yo

Tue, 27 Apr 2004 03:52:40 GMT

Yo there is something goin on that has been really pissing me off lately.

THIS
FUCKING
BLOWS

a random update of random thoughts

Mon, 26 Apr 2004 19:54:04 GMT

Well kids, school is over in about a week… that’s, a little fucking scary if you ask me. It seems my roommates and everyone else in the world are going a bit nutty. There is no full moon, and I don’t know what to blame this on.

So, I’ll just blame it on, you.

I’ve been spending what seems to be a lot of time with eric in the past few weeks, and much to my surprise I’m thoroughly enjoying the time we spend together. (And let me stress… MUCH to my surprise.)

Its almost time to see Ani with Becca and Mike, and that will be fun.

After this week, I won’t have to work at that stupid job anymore. Thank god, praise the lord, and hail mary…

I think it’ll be nice living home again.

I have yet to pick up my car from the train station.
After school lets out I’m buying a new one. YAY

My pinkie nail is getting a scary length of long.

fin

oh and why if I'm done my work, can't I leave work?????????????????
You can't keep me heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!!!!!

need a summer job.

Sat, 24 Apr 2004 22:43:09 GMT

anyone know of a summer job?
I need a summer job.

Goddamnit

Mon, 19 Apr 2004 20:01:19 GMT

Picking up the check
For an old lover
Reminiscing flesh on flesh
In public bathrooms
Tears on cheeks
In stairwells
Chemicals pumping through arteries
In dorm rooms
All her ideals escaped
As moans from her lips
Her spirit, jaded and scarred
A burn victim of life and love
Pale skin, new haircut, random convictions
New stories, old grudges, echoes in her cheeks
Of the two of us entangled
A different two than the two in this diner booth
Picking up the check
For an old lover
For an eternal image
For her to laugh at my ideals
For a recollection of a faded beautiful piece
--Stephen McNamara

today I was on strike and this is what I did

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 23:22:11 GMT

I told you I was good!
;)

How evil are you?

THIS TIME NEXT YEAR...

Tue, 06 Apr 2004 18:51:16 GMT

"This is much better than it ever was before,
And next year I better have my foot in the door,
'Cause all along I felt it all so much.
Now I'm feeling strong, but hard work seems to get me nowhere."-- The Movelife

By this time next year, I'll have graduated!!
One year...
One sweet sweet year thats going to be filled with movie making and academic overload, but I'll graduate whilst still being 21 and everything will start to work for me...

"It'll be alright in the end, you'll see already"

burning a hole in my heart like money through a pocket....

Mon, 29 Mar 2004 03:53:52 GMT

how freakin poetic was that??

I want something more. I need something bigger than this
Every step I take in my career hopefully... has to lead me to something bigger...
I need bigger things than the things I have and the things I am doing...
If i had a dollar bill for every person and every time someone told me I could do better, I'd never have any finacial troubles.... ever again.
I know I can do better...
after this all is blown over, germany, graduation... I'm out of here. OUT. Onto bigger things, bigger things that I've worked my ass off and deserve. I don't have anything to stay for here, and I never did... I just needed to some time to understand the way... now I've got it down, and I am ready to try it out.... I'm just too good, and to determined to be wasting it here. The rest of you, do what you want, but the only place you 'll go from here, is here.

This was for me, it was for me outloud, but did anyone else even understand it?
Its like I speak a language only i know... and then I make other people try to
decipher it....
In other words..
you just wasted your time.